Sorrowful Friday

Last Monday I started having this itchy throat.  Oh, I am starting to come down with something.  First thing I did was eliminate sugar from my food and I started drinking my veggie juices in a bigger abundance.  As the days past I still had this raw, burning throat.  It wasn't a big nuisance but it was just annoying me.  The week went on this way and I begin to think that it will clear up in a few more days as long as I eat more clean food.

Then this past Friday, March 11th, I did not want to remove myself from bed.  It was like I was glued to the mattress.  I had to get up because I had a list of clients to see at the spa.  So, I throw back the covers and I headed to the bathroom.  

As soon as I turned on the bathroom light I felt strange.  It took a few minutes to figure out that I was still half asleep but I felt this wave of emotion come over me.  The next thing I knew I was crying.  Why?  Why am I crying?  I did not know the reason and I knew I had to calm down so I could get ready for work.

After this first release I thought okay I can go start my day but then another wave hit me and then another.  Okay, I am not going to be able to go to the studio today.  I was about to call my first gal and tell her I needed to reschedule when something stopped me from picking up the phone.

I managed to make it to the studio with a calmer mind set.  My heart was feeling heavy and I still did not know the reason.  For those that know me personally you know it takes a lot for me to cry.  I have been working on opening myself up more when it comes to the physical shedding of tears but it has been a hard journey.  Please do not get the impression that I do not feel.  I do express deep connection to others and the World.  It is just that I have blocks when it comes to tears.

So, now I am waiting on my first lady and I am so happy to see her.  She has a lot to talk about and I listen.  Seems she is having a rough week and as I listen I realize I didn't pick up the phone to reschedule with her is because cosmically I knew she needed me here today.  Then I understood I needed her too.

Later I was feeling light and I felt that the crying was powerfully cleansing.  Crying is cleansing and I really should do more of it.  And you know what?  I woke up Saturday morning and the sore throat was gone.  Guess I needed to release the sadness that was welling up in me since Jacob left on Monday.  It just didn't dawn on me that I needed to cry out the sadness.  I really feel better now. :)